“I will take it! I will take the ring to Mordor. Though I do not know the way.” These words of authenticity, spoken from the heart as well as the head, came from an unexpected and unlikely source; they were the words of the Hobbit Frodo. His words of courage and vulnerability broke through the clamor of egos and refocuses attention on the true purpose for the gathering: what must be done with the all-powerful ring and who will lead us in this quest.  

I couldn’t help seeing this scene in my mind as I was reading a Harvard Business Review blog post by Linda Hill and Kent Lineback titled, The Words Many Managers Are Afraid To Say.  In this scene from the film, Fellowship of the Ring, a fictional group of men with positional power and important titles, such as king, are swinging and clashing their verbal swords over whose point of view is correct. They are so blinded by power and ego they are unable to implement one of the most important tenets of leadership: creating a way for people to contribute toward making something extraordinary happen.

In Hill and Lineback’s blog they ask, “When was the last time you said words like these to the people who work for you?”

“I don’t know.”
“I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Would you help me?”
“What do you think?”
“What would you do?”
“Could you explain this to me? I’m not sure I get it.”

Why are leaders so reluctant to say these words of influence and power? Why are we afraid of these words, not just from a leadership perspective, but also in all of our relationships? We expect our Hobbits, “little people”, to say them, but as we mature and become adults and leaders we tremble at the thought that they might escape our lips for fear that we may be perceived as vulnerable, incapable, or not smart enough to do our job.

We know how powerful the emotion of fear is. What if in a paradoxical way, fear actually makes us more powerful? Think about it from this perspective. If I overcome my egos’ fear of being perceived as vulnerable, might other people recognize this and see me as being brave and authentic instead of weak?

Frodo stands up and accepts the mantle of leadership when he says, “I will take the ring.” But by adding, “though I don’t know the way,” he creates the opportunity for everyone else to contribute to something extraordinary! It is at that courageous moment that he is offered the talents, skills and commitments from all the others to form the Fellowship of the Ring.

The 2011 Survey of Employee Engagement, by BlessingWhite, highlights the desire of employees to know the person behind the title. “Managers are not necessarily doing the things that matter most. The actions that correlate the most with high engagement are not always the ones that receive the most favorable ratings. And in some geographic regions relationships trump skills, that is, employees’ knowledge of their managers as ‘people’ behind their titles appears to impact engagement levels more than manager’s actions.”

After debriefing this scene in my workshops, I ask each person to reflect on the Frodo who lives inside each of us. He is our authentic self. He is brave and vulnerable.  If we can calm our egos’ fear and allow ourselves to trust our authentic self to be present in our relationships we will be stronger, more influential and better leaders. I believe that many of us have lost touch with our inner Frodo. Perhaps if the words and sentences listed by Hill and Lineback are not part of who you are, then you are not fully ready to pursue the leadership journey.

The speed and competitiveness of business in the 21st century requires your engines of productivity to be tuned and fueled.

Workforce engagement continues to be a topic of debate within some organizations, while for others it has become an accepted and critical business metric. The Gallup Organization introduced the concept and brought attention to the potential impact that engagement can have on business results, but for many hard-nosed, analytical executives who are lacking the numbers or ROI, it remains one of those “soft and fuzzy” areas. A word of caution to the hard nosed; don’t try to merge onto the super highways of the 21st century with less than 50% of the power you need.

In the 2010 Survey of Workforce Engagement by BlessingWhite, engagement levels around the world remained stable, which in my opinion is not a positive indicator because it means that 67% of the workforces of North American companies are disengaged. Think about that number for a moment!  For me that translates into only a small minority of employees making the level of effort and contribution you need for your company to be competitive and successful! My friend and colleague, Carl Crothers made the following analogy in a recent workshop: “Imagine you have an 8, 6 or 4 cylinder automobile and you’re about to merge onto an interstate. You step on the accelerator expecting a burst of energy to get you safely into the flow of traffic, but the response you get is less than 50% of the power and energy you expected and needed.”  This is an unfortunate reality for all types of organizations in North America; they’re running on less than 50% of the performance energy available because their individual human engines (Hearts and Minds) are disengaged. Talk about inefficiency, waste and lost opportunity. Hard nosed or not I think the picture is clear: if you’re not addressing workforce engagement you’re losing money and jeopardizing your competitiveness.

Dan Pink, author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us wrote in a recent blog that the smallest unit of productivity is the individual. He questions how organizations will tap into that powerhouse, and goes on to say that “people are thirsting for context and purpose and as a leader one of the most powerful things you can do is provide that context.” This is the heart and art of engagement.

Leadership is also addressed in the BlessingWhite survey. They emphasize that it is imperative that leaders align employee values, goals, and aspirations with those of the organization. It is through this alignment that organizations will achieve sustainable employee engagement, which will allow both to thrive:

Engaged employees are not just committed. They are not just passionate or proud. They have a line-of-sight on their own future and on the organization’s mission and goals. They are enthused and in gear, using their talents and discretionary effort to make a difference in their employer’s quest for sustainable business success.

In other words, don’t try to drive your business on the super highways of the 21st. century if your employees and organization are not operating on all cylinders! 

The report also highlights the following recommendations:

* Measure less while acting more
* Pay attention to culture
* Managers are key leverage points in the engagement process

In addition the report puts managers and CEO’s on notice that they must accept that they have a huge impact on developing and sustaining workforce engagement. Of course it’s a two way street; employees also have a responsibility for their engagement, but it won’t happen without leaders being actively engaged. Employees are looking for more than business competence, they want their leaders to be interpersonally and relationally competent. They want to trust in your abilities and character – and to understand your personal motivations. They want to see passion and commitment and most of all they want and need to have trust: trust that you will do the right thing.

 A word of advice to those who are still not convinced of the benefits of an engaged workforce, “More employees are looking for new opportunities than they were in 2008, suggesting that 2011 will be a challenging year for retention (and a hot market for firms looking to attract top talent).” This finding from the Employee Engagement Report is a like sign in your competitor’s windows, Talented Drivers Wanted. Do you want to take the chance of losing key employees you need to drive your business? If not, you might want to consider focusing on workforce engagement.

One more word about engagement; it’s not about giving away the store. It’s not about more benefits, bonuses and rewards. It’s about tapping into and building intrinsic motivation – its there and waiting to be engaged.

The Renewal Group’s Relationship – Centered Leadership® programs help managers and leaders discover, develop and deploy the interpersonal and organizational fuel to energize the engines of your future. As one recent participant said, “I now know what leadership is, what is required of me and that I want to be a leader.”

Can you remember the last time you felt guilty? What was it like – did it move you to do something? Most likely it did; guilt is a powerful  emotion! You might have felt guilty about breaking your commitment to a diet by eating a piece of chocolate cake or because you completely forgot about a lunch date with a friend.  We’ve also witnessed the emotion on display in the public apologies we’ve heard from leaders who have broken a trust.  Common wisdom views guilt as a negative emotion because we experience it when our behavior causes others to feel discomfort or pain.  That is why we adopt various coping mechanisms to relieve ourselves of the feeling. Denial: “I did nothing wrong.” Projection: “It’s his fault I behaved so badly.” And a lack of emotional and social intelligence can conspire in minimizing and blinding us to the critical learning that it is designed to provide. Guilt is a chemical messenger on a mission to let you know that you may have crossed a boundary. Don’t shoot the messenger!

 I recently read two articles with two very different perspectives on guilt. In the Week in Review section of the New York Times on January 2, 2011 the feature headline read, “It’s the day after New Year’s – broken your resolution yet? No guilt necessary.”  The message is that guilt is an emotion to be avoided and there are things you can do to avoid this uncomfortable feeling. The second article was in the January issue of Harvard Business Review, Guilt-Ridden People Make Great Leaders. The article reviews research which shows that guilt has a positive correlation with leaders’ performance and perceived capability. “People who are prone to guilt tend to work harder and perform better than people who are not guilt-prone, and are perceived to be more capable leaders.”

Is it possible then that guilt is neither a negative nor a positive emotion, but rather, serves a higher purpose, to help you become a better person?

The research project, headed by Francis Flynn PhD, and conducted at a Fortune 500 firm, found that people who are prone to guilt received higher performance ratings from their bosses. Related studies found that this characteristic was associated with higher levels of organizational commitment and peers’ perception that these individuals were stronger leaders.

In fact, Flynn’s work indicates that, “employees who have guilty tendencies could be the best thing that ever happened to your organization.”

Guilt prone individuals are more likely to be:

* Harder Workers
* Better Leaders
* More Altruistic and willing to help others
* Higher Performers
* More committed to their employers
* Able to see the big picture

When I read this study I couldn’t help but think about the recent financial debacle, and although it would be unfair to paint all the wizards of Wall Street with the same brush, it would appear they could use a few more leaders with a conscience.  I also reflected on the recent push by some business schools to have students sign an ethics pledge, which was not met with great enthusiasm. I recall one student quoted who said that he felt insulted by the request. Yet we know that the more the financial stakes increase, the more likely that guilt and ethics will take a secondary position.

Emotional and Social Intelligence: Guilt and Empathy

“Even more complex social emotions like shame, embarrassment, guilt and pride are attached to mirror neuron system found in the insula of the brain.”

                                     ~   Jeremy Rifkin, The Empathic Civilization

By the age of four or five children understand social expectations and are capable of experiencing a sense of guilt from hurting another child. This maturation process is critical in the development of empathy. By the ages of ten to twelve children can think abstractly and their sense of guilt is also abstracted. It is at this age that they internalize a sense of social guilt and anguish over failures to live up to moral standards of society.  What we know is that human beings are wired to have the emotional and social capacity to experience a full range of feelings, which is meant to help us survive and to live socially, morally and ethically.  The responsibility of parents, leaders, citizens and institutions is to assist in this development and to promote social and business expectations and standards that inspire us to reach our human potential; and to not encourage the philosophy popularized by Gordon Gekko in the movie Wall Street, “…greed, for the lack of a better word, is good.”

 It seems to me that we are witnessing an increase of denial, projection and suppression of the two emotions that are meant to keep our social and moral compass pointed in the right direction and to keep us connected  - guilt and empathy. We see examples of this not only in the business arena, but also in the social relationships of our youth. Almost weekly I see stories of bullying taking place in the halls of our schools and on the Internet with some resulting in tragic outcomes.

My deep concern is that we are in a cycle of polarization and isolation, which blocks the development of our emotional and social intelligence as well as our ability to feel and learn from guilt and express empathy. In the January/February issue of The Atlantic, in an article titled, The Rise of The New Global Elite, author Chrystia Freeland describes the growing divide between the wealthy elite and the rest of the world’s population. The following quote from the article shows the dangers of how isolation disconnects and inhibits one’s facility to feel guilt, take appropriate responsibility and to express empathy. “When I asked one of Wall Street’s most successful investment-bank CEOs if he felt guilty for his firm’s role in creating the financial crisis, he told me with evident sincerity that he did not. The real culprit, he explained, was his feckless cousin, who owned three cars and a home he could not afford.”

Fortunately, our brains don’t lose their capacity to experience these vital emotions. However, we must be cautious, very cautious that we don’t create the circumstances in which our isolation and polarization become immense gulfs, and that our brains perceive that the pain to bridge these gulfs would be so harsh that we choose to use projection and denial to protect ourselves from feeling our guilt and therefore our ability to empathize.

One way for leaders and organizations to create healthy and productive workplaces is to focus on the development of emotional and social intelligence and to make sure that moral and ethical behavior is expected and recognized. And you might want to consider asking two questions, “When was the last time I allowed myself to feel guilt and what did I do about it,?” and when considering someone for a promotion or a new hire, “Tell me, when was the last time you felt guilty about something and what did you do about it?”

A recent study found that MBA's who have an optimistic mindset are significantly more successful in landing jobs, receiving recognition and getting promotions.  Additional studies have found that optimism is also a trait and or characteristic of resilient and emotionally intelligent people.
In today's turbulent world where continuous change, daily stress and adversity are ever present, optimism is critical to living a healthy and productive life.

It's importance in leadership is also paramount. The ability to successfully navigate a highly competitive global marketplace requires leaders to be realistically optimistic. Skepticism is important and healthy, but it must be tempered with optimism to see opportunities and to energize a workforce to pursue and capitalize on the opportunity.

The following is a mindset frame that you can use to assess if you are perceiving a circumstance through an optimistic or pessimistic pair of glasses. If you notice that you are feeling powerless because the situation appears permanent and it has infected all aspects of your life, you have a pair of pessimistic glasses on. It's call the Permanent, Pervasive and Powerless view. But the reality is that most situations aren't this way. Most difficulties and adversities are Temporary, Isolated and Effort Possible. This is the TIE approach. This mindset and worldview keeps you energized, focused and feeling OPTIMISTIC. Try it out; put the TIE glasses on and re-assess your situation. It may take some practice, but the effort will be rewarding, and it just might get you that job or promotion you've been after.